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Mr Gay UK Finalist and Charity Campaigner, Jordan Harris

Jordan Harris

19th January 2025

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Declan Henry

Jordan Harris (32) was born on the Isle of Sheppey in Kent to his English mother and Chinese father. His parents split up when Jordan was four and his mother became a single parent for eight years until she met his stepfather Ian, who has been a father figure ever since. For Jordan, secondary school was utter misery. He and his twin brother endured the most hurtful and spiteful bullying at Minster College (now Oasis Academy) because they were mixed race and the only children ethnically different in an otherwise white population of the school. Verbal insults were followed by kicks and punches on a regular basis. Jordan and his brother were advised to go to school early and leave early to avoid their tormentors, but the school could only provide a certain amount of protection. With the assaults a frequent occurrence, the school eventually informed Jordan’s parents they could not guarantee the boys’ safety and that they would have to be home tutored. While this was a traumatic time for Jordan, who still has a scar on his head from when he was kicked, he is stoic in his recollections and believes that these tough life lessons have enabled him to develop a thick skin and stick up for himself. But he also states that it made him realise what an arsehole the world can be at times. Jordan still lives on the island and occasionally sees some of the former bullies in shops and bars, but they ignore each other. Some are married with children, but none has ever approached Jordan to apologise for their behaviour – even if they were to blame it on youth, ignorance, and immaturity. Jordan is ever mindful of racism, and while things are slowly improving in Sheppey, the area remains a predominately white, working-class area where prejudice still prevails.

Everything about Jordan suggests gentleness. He is slender, softly spoken and presents with the most charming smile. Despite enduring years of racism in his youth, Jordan never encountered homophobia at school. He first came out to his mother when he was eighteen and it took her time to get used to the idea, but she has become a tremendous support to him over the years. There were no gay bars or nightclubs in Sheppey when he was growing up (and there are still none now), resulting in limited contact with other gay people. His first real encounter with gay men came when he went to places in Medway like the Ship Inn, Riverside Tavern and Coyotes nightclub. He recalls his first time in the Ship Inn and compares it to walking into Disneyland and seeing Mickey Mouse for the first time. Boyfriends were holding hands, and big, strong, macho, and muscular men were standing at the bar. He instantly felt liberated and realised that the myth about all gay people being camp, flamboyant and into shopping could be dispelled. After that, Jordan started visiting the Medway bars frequently because this is where he started to find acceptance. He had yearned to fit in because he never felt as though he fitted in at school. He wanted to push himself and become the person he always wanted to be – driven, loyal and compassionate.

Jordan said that entering Mr Gay UK taught him to love himself more. The COVID years were a very introspective period for him and he often struggled to feel good about himself. Thankfully, a strict gym regime and diet changed his self-image. Just before entering the competition, and by mutual agreement, he came out of a year-long relationship. This gave him extra time to focus on the issues he was passionate about as part of his Mr Gay UK campaign, including raising awareness about bullying in schools as well as educating people about homophobia, racism and misogyny. He thinks there is still a long way to go in teaching young people and adults the difference between right and wrong and to know their rights as set out in the Equalities Act. Lastly, Jordan used the competition platform to highlight how parents should be held more accountable for the bigotry they pass on to their children. It is one thing telling young people to be proud, to be safe and to be themselves and quite another when a young gay person is raised in a homophobic household where insults and violence are part of the parenting package. Jordan pushed himself out of his comfort zone during the campaign but found it tough at times. He had to make public appearances, write speeches, travel and promote what he would do with the Mr Gay UK title if he won it (which included becoming an advisor to the equalities minister on LGBTQ+ issues). He came third out of the ten finalists and although he didn’t win, he has no regrets about entering the competition because he enjoyed the experience and learned so much from it. 

Jordan Harris 2
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During our meeting, Jordan highlighted the amount of indirect homophobia that still exists in society. This year, two new gay Prides were held in Kent – Ashford and Maidstone. Both were covered by Kent Messenger and its sister outlet, Kent Online, which received over eight hundred hate comments after Ashford Pride. These included remarks like, ‘Gays should be burned alive’/ ‘That would have been an ideal event to bomb’/ ‘Do they really have to ram this down our throats?’ – along with the usual nasty comments comparing homosexuality to paedophilia. 

Jordan feels that such homophobia intensified during COVID and made an existing problem worse. People were forced to look at themselves and they didn’t like their unhappiness, so they started to project it onto others. Jordan did some background research into the Facebook profiles of some of the commenters and discovered that some were nurses, teachers, bus drivers, shop workers and GP receptionists. One person even worked for a county council, so Jordan made an official complaint to their head office but didn’t receive a reply. He told me he will always stand firm with homophobic people or those who hide behind their hate. As part of his Mr Gay UK campaign, Jordan attended Swale Pride last year and was honoured to carry the pride flag at the front of the parade.

Despite not currently having a boyfriend, Jordan readily admits to enjoying an active sex life. He has been taking PrEP (Pre-exposure Prophylaxis) medication for a few years now to prevent catching HIV. PrEP is medically deemed to be highly effective in lowering the risk of catching HIV by 99%. Only two sexual health clinics in Kent (Rochester and Canterbury) prescribe the medication. Jordan gets a three-month supply of medication at a time and has a kidney function test every six months. He feels that people are not widely educated about PrEP and that better awareness of this preventative medication is needed. An ideal place to distribute leaflets with further information would be at the annual Pride gatherings, but these have tended to become family-friendly events in Kent and therefore aren’t always suitable.

It was easy to speak to Jordan about a wide range of issues affecting gay men and the gay community. He is a deep thinker and articulate with his answers. We discussed Chemsex (intentional sex under the influence of illicit drugs) and he said he has never done this but doesn’t judge those who do. He has often seen men on the Grindr dating site saying they were feeling horny and asking if anyone was game for some Chemsex. Jordan said he is curious about the underlying issues that would prompt someone to take drugs as part of having sex and wondered if it is down to a lack of confidence and/or self-worth, underlying mental health issues or confusion about sexual identity. He added that in order to ensure people remain safe, it is important the risks are understood and consent isn’t compromised.

I also asked Jordan what he thought about older members of the gay community. He told me he feels that older gay men are often ignored and that some haven’t moved with the times and still use over-sexualised language. Jordan feels there should be more alcohol-free venues where social activities are available and where they can chat and make new friends. They were used to going to bars and clubs in their heydays, where men had sex in dark rooms. These days, it is nigh-on impossible to find anywhere with a dark room – not least because of safeguarding issues. Jordan added that he consciously makes an effort to speak and be respectful to everyone he encounters and he has friends of all ages who have watched him grow as an individual. He also finds older friends a great source of advice. Kent still does not have much of a gay scene. However, a new gay bar, ‘La’ in Margate, is becoming very popular, and its clientele ranges from ages 18 to 60, which adds great diversity to the gay community.

Looking towards a future partner, Jordan said he is looking for someone who is thoughtful, caring and funny. In return, he will match these qualities. He feels that Grindr has killed the gay scene by diminishing its social aspect. These days, meeting other gay people tends to be transactional rather than social. Online gay dating mainly centres around inviting men to your home or going around to theirs. 

Jordan defines love as ‘when a person will do anything for their partner and they understand each other completely’. He doesn’t rule out having children with a suitable partner, providing, he says, the world doesn’t remain as hateful about gay fathers as it sometimes is known to be. Jordan said his future partner will need to be self-sufficient as he works as a senior operations manager for an insurance company and currently supervises fifty staff. He also said that he doesn’t want to feel ‘owned’ but rather needs someone to understand his charity work and the commitment this entails. Jordan has raised nearly £12,000 for charity in the past eighteen months. He currently volunteers for the Odd Balls Foundation, which supports men with testicular cancer. He features as one of the models for their 2025 calendar named ‘Gym Boys’ and has attended many fundraising events across the southeast to raise awareness for their cause.

A portion of the money raised from calendar sales is donated to Swale Pride.  Jordan has featured in several magazines across the world and has been lucky enough to work with some of the biggest global gay brands including ES Collection, Addicted, Aussie Bum and Sukrew.  Jordan is also a volunteer presenter on BR FM (95.6), a community radio station based in Sheppey. He presents a two-hour bi-weekly programme covering fundraising events and offering help and support for various community projects, including Swale Pride events.

Well done, Jordan. You are an inspiration in so many ways. You can follow Jordan’s fundraising events on Instagram: jordanwch_92

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As a writer, I try to incorporate both sides of humanity into my writing, having learned that life is far from grim and that there is enough kindness, compassion, love and humour to overcome life’s obstacles, regardless of how much misery, abuse, or injustice exists.
Written by Declan Henry

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